Ralph Nader 2012

Ralph Nader
&
XLIBERALFOOL
2012

This is breaking news. Last week I, XLIBERALFOOL, was informed that I had made the short list to be Ralph Nader's running mate for the 2012 presidential elections. Yep, that's right you heard it here, first! I was told Monday night that I was one of three candidates being seriously considered for the number two job. My first thought was that Ralph Nader does not stand a chance of becoming President. I then started looking into his background, and found that this will be Nader's 8th try for the White House. Experience has to count for something, plus I guess that I just figured that he is due. You know what they say "The eighth time is the charm.". Now, I know what you are thinking, a lefty and a righty running for president together, what-what-whaaat? Well, the liberals usually get almost 50% of the vote. The conservatives also get about 50% of the vote, so we can't loose. We will finally have an executive branch that represents nearly all of Americans!
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Well, jut in case you have not been following my blogsite, I will give you a quick over view of my stance on some international and domestic issues.
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1) Reparations:
Yes. I believe that the American League of Morons should pay reparations to XLIBERALFOOL & Friends. The A.L.M. has so severely decreased the average IQ of the nation that it has pushed XLIBERALFOOL & Friends into a minority group consisting of privileged intellectuals. Now, every time we say something intelligent, members of the A.L.M. get confused and say "dat not PC - Dat RACIST". We are not outcast, and we are not lepers. You have my word, that seeking reparations from the American League of Morons, will be my first priority!
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2) Public Schools:
Education is very important to me. What I see in the public schools is a severe lack of proper motivation. To curb this problem I purpose that if a child fails in school, then that child should be sent to work on labor farms for the entire summer break. In cases where a child refuses to work during the summer, he/she will be asked not to attend public school for the entire next school year.
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3) Illegal Immigration:
I propose that we make drugs legal, and hire the Mexican drug cartel to secure the borders. Next we should deport anyone who is not legally residing in the United States.. To address the potential shortage of labor on farms, please refer to issue #2 public schools.
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4) Israel / Palestine
It is my belief that the Lebanese, Israeli, and Palestinian territories should be turned over to the original inhabitants, the Phoenicians. The mosque on the Temple Mount should be torn down and replaced by a pyramid shaped, New Age Church of Meditation.
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5) Afghanistan / Iran:
Iran should be allowed to annex Afghanistan. In return, Iran will stop building thermo-nuclear weapons, and instead immediately dedicate the money to investigating ESP and paranormal activities.
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6) North Korea:
The U.S. will sign a pact promising not to attack North Korea. Kim Jung Il will have to attend weekly anger management sessions, where Dr. Phil will teach him to express his feelings in a more healthy manner.
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7) Poisonous toys made in China:
For every one hundred toys produced and exported by China, the Chinese Premier must lick one random toy before the other ninety nine can be shipped.

If you agree with me on these issues, then please vote Ralph Nader / XLIBERALFOOL in 2012!
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One week later...
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Last Wednesday, I was vetted by Ralph Nader himself. Being vetted is an interesting process. First, Ralph and I went to dinner. We did not talk about politics as much as you would think. Then we went back to his party headquarters and got down to business. Being vetted hurt at first, but then I started to enjoy it. Ralph asked me not to tell anyone about him vetting me. I guess he did not want the Republicans and Democrats to know who his running mate is. He told me that I was his double, secret weapon for the campaign in 2012.
All in all, be vetted is quite the difficult ordeal and very uncomfortable, but I think it will be worth it in the long run!
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Three weeks later...
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Ralph Nader just emailed a picture of our campaign sign! I have not seen it yet, but I am going to post it on this site. Take a look at it and let me what you think. I am very excited about running for Vice President!
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Aaaah SHIT... Is there such a thing as a Vice President of a school board?

Letter to the Southern Poverty Law Center

I recently wrote email to the SPCA. I thought I would share it on my blog.

Southern Poverty Law Center:

This email is to request information on how one becomes acknowledged on the SPLC’s general hate group list. What are the criteria to be declared a hate group by the SPLC? To get on the list, do you have to be nominated by a third party, or can you just send in an email request? Can the group be an online, virtual organization or does it need to have monthly, in person, meetings? How many members must the organization be composed of? What about the whole hate part? Is there a pre-approved list of people that the organization can hate (like blacks, Jews and homosexuals), or can the hate be directed at pretty much anyone? Lastly, do the organizations have to condone violence, or is being a passive aggressive hate group enough?

I, XLIBERALFOOL, do hereby officially request that my blogging and social media group be placed on the SPLC’s prestigious, general hate group list. I looked for an application on your website, but I could not find one. I came to the conclusion that the SPLC is a high-class sort of hate organization and only accepts resumes. So, here it is. I will now take the time to describe myself and my extremist ideology. I am a white male of mostly Anglo decent (Shit that alone will probably get me put on a hate list.), about 30 years of age, and I have green eyes and blondish hair. I once tried to join the Aryan Brotherhood, but apparently you have to be an ex-convict to become a member of their organization. They did offer to make me an honorary member, but I just could not reconcile with the Brotherhood’s extreme anti-whaling stance. I am also ex-Army and I heard that military experience goes a long way when the SPLC is considering which hate groups to accept.

So, let us discuss the all important “hate part” of my hate group. I have developed an intense loathing for old people, poor people, and children. I am not too much into the whole race hate thing, but I do have a serious and irrational fear of Eskimos. I can diversify, if my targeted groups are deemed to be insufficient. I am not sure if it counts, but my wife says that I am a male chauvinist. Just let me know. I am committed to getting on your general hate group list, and I am willing to conform to the SPLC’s high standard of hate.

So far, I only have two followers on Twitter and two friends on Facebook (I have not started to advertise yet.). Do not fret though; I plan to attract many new members in the coming months and years. I am currently considering two advertising slogans “Let them eat cake” and “Viagra is the opiate of the elderly”. Let me know if you have a preference as to which I should choose.

I saw your interactive hate map online, and unfortunately I do not yet have a stated location for my hate group. When I have more members, I can build a lodge with kitchen facilities and offer Sunday morning brunch for my followers. Does the SPLC offer low interest loans for hate groups that make it on their general hate list? Anyways, I am too lazy to be violent. Plus, when it comes to fighting, I am kind of a sheep in wolves’ clothing. Fist fights are scary, but if words could kill, then the streets would be littered with the bodies of children and poor, elderly people.

For more information please feel free to visit my blogsite at http://xliberalfool.blogspot.com. We, at XLIBERALFOOL & Friends, appreciate your time and consideration in this matter, and we eagerly await your decision. Thank you.

Sincerely

XLIBERALFOOL & Friends

I will let you all know if they write back.

Think about it. XLIBERALFOOL

American League of Morons

The American League of Morons

I am dedicating this post to all the individuals and groups that have made this country what it is today. Without your help I do not know where we, as a nation, would be today. There are many deserving, but too little time and space to honor all whom have contributed so much. I do apologize if, in my haste, I have omitted any names that rightly belong on this list. Just leave a moronic comment and I will be sure to add your name and affiliate group to the list. Thank you.
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1) Social Skinheads of America................ 2) The Black Panthers
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3) The Ku Klux Klan ..................................4) Dr. David Ray Griffin (9/11 denier)
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5) The ACLU ..............................................6) Neo Nazis
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7) The Brown Berets .................................8) Oliver Stone
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9) The NAACP ...........................................10) The National Council of La Raza
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11) Glenn Beck ...........................................12) The writers for diversity.net
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13) N'COBRA (National Coalition of Blacks for Reparations in America)
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14) Michael Moore .....................................15) XLIBERALFOOL
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16) Southern Poverty Law Center.......... 17) Sons of Confederate Veterans
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18) ACORN .................................................19) Church of Scientology
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20) Rosie O'Donnell ...................................21) Quanell (Queeny) X
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22) Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam
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23) Last, but certainly not least - Britney Spears
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More names to come...
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Once again, thank you for your dedication in furthering stupidity in this great nation.
Think about it. XLIBERALFOOL