Lerberal Edumacation Dun Me Gud

Lerberal Edumacation in Tejas Dun Me Gud

Who says that liberals cannot provide children with a decent education? I will have you know that the liberal education system in Texas, taught me about all sorts of wonderful things. I was clay in a potter’s hands, and they molded me into the man I am today!

Sometimes, I thank God for the liberal education that the Alief Independent School District so graciously provided me. From time to time, you have to show children what being wrong looks like. Otherwise, they may not learn to identify flawed ideology as being flawed, and it is possible that they may choose the wrong path in life. Well, I received a healthy dose of flawed ideology in my secondary schools.

My liberal indoctrination started at the beginning of my first year at Albright Middle School. Yes, I was in the sixth grade at that time. Liberals like to start feeding their students trash when they are young. That way if a student is smart enough to pick up on the flawed ideology being fed to them, then hopefully they will be too timid to call bullshit on their teachers.

The first time that I received a whiff of the liberal’s stench, I was in my 6^th grade English class. I wasn’t too sure what to make of it at first, but I knew that it did not smell right. Mr. Mc Sweeny thought it wise to take an hour out of our day, to explain to the class how “gangster rap” is the modern day version of “poetry”. I kept my mouth shut, and said nothing. This is how liberals get you hooked. They start out by offering you some “liberal marijuana”. The liberals will tell you, “Try it. You will like it. You see; it is not addictive. You can take it or leave it at anytime.”. The next thing you know, they are shoving a glass pipe full of “liberal crack cocaine” into your mouth, during science class.

Ah yes, Mrs.________’s sixth grade science class. So kind and wise was she, that she offered us a book stand full of reading material that we could barrow at anytime. And I did just that. Most of the reading material was in the form of magazines. I found one with a headline in it that intrigued my developing mind, “The U.S. Government Invented AIDS to Kill Black People”. So I read the article, and to my astonishment, it described - quite forcefully, how in fact the U.S. Government HAD invented the HIV virus in order to kill all of the black people. I thought to myself, “This has been published in a MAGAZINE, so it must be true.”. I was only eleven years old at the time! Later that evening, I was sitting at the dinner table with my family, and I turned to my parents and said “Daddy dearest, Mummy dearest, why does the U.S. Government want to kill off all of the black people?”. Daddy dearest looked at me ever so lovingly, and replied “Boy, what the hell are you talking about?”. I explained how I had read this nugget of information in a magazine that was offered to me by my science teacher. I believe Daddy dearest was skeptical about the veracity of my claim, because he asked me to bring this magazine home for his viewing pleasure. The next evening, I brought the very same magazine to my Daddy dearest, so that he might also gain the knowledge that I had been given in my science class. After all, the entire cornucopia of reading material was there for students to barrow, at anytime. Daddy dearest taught me a new term that evening. “Liberal SMUT magazine”, I believe he called it. That night, my Daddy dearest wrote a colorful letter to my science teacher, which I was obliged to deliver before school began the next day. My science teacher had yet to arrive at school, so I left the letter and the magazine on her desk, and went about my day. That afternoon, before science class began, my teacher took the time to dutifully explain that in fact not all of the reading material was intended for students, and that we needed to practice “self censorship” when viewing her reading material.

Well, I have grown older and wiser since that fateful day in science class, and now I know the truth about AIDS and the HIV virus that causes it. We, Anglo Republicans, did not invent AIDS to kill off all of the black people! We invent KIDS (Koala Immune Deficiency Syndrome, just Google it) to kill off all of the Koala bears, in Australia. Africans and Gays were just collateral damage. How were we supposed to know that they like to screw Koala bears? Damn, I guess it is true what they say about the road to hell being paved by good intentions! Oh yeah, and if there are any children reading this blog, then they need to practice “self censorship” on my previous statements. :)

Seventh grade can be summed up by one name for me, Rodney King. Rodney King, this asshole career criminal, rightfully gets his ass whopped for running from the LA Police Department, and everyone goes ape shit. When police that were involved got acquitted by the state justice system, the black people in Los Angles hooped, hollered, burned down each other’s homes, and a bunch of South Korean people’s businesses. Brilliant!

My seventh grade English teacher, Mr. Eldridge, thought it would be prudent and politically correct to have a class discussion about how the police departments are all racists, and how unfair the police were to Rodney King. Of course, the student sheep, lined up one by one, and mimicked the liberal propaganda which they had been spoon fed by the teachers and the media. “Baaaa baaaa” the student sheeple said. Well, I was finished running to my Daddy dearest whenever I heard some liberal bullshit in the classroom. I waited my turn, thought about what I was going to say, and politely stated how I felt. I said “Everyone knows that if you run from the police, then you are going to take a beating. I know that if I run from the police, the cops will beat me. Oh wait, but then it would not be racist, because I am white.” Mr. Eldridge cut me off before I could finish my statement, and declared that this topic had become too controversial for a classroom. It is funny how it was not controversial when his point of view prevailed. It was only controversial when I challenged his fragile paradigm of the world. Oh and then, when we left the class, I was told by the African American students that I better shut up about Rodney King, or I need to watch my back. Marvelous people!

As you have probably figured out by now, I was not very popular at Albright Middle School. Not with the liberally indoctrinated students, nor with the liberal indoctrinating faculty. The found the need to constantly call Mummy dearest, and cry “Your child is a bad seed!”. Well, my Mummy dearest decided that she no longer wanted to entertain Mr. Eldridge’s calls. She dispatched me with a message for Mr. Eldridge to stop contacting my Mummy dearest at her work, and to call my Daddy dearest instead. I succeeded in conveying this message to Mr. Eldridge, but I received an unusual reply from him. Mr. Eldridge told me that he would call whomever he damn well felt like, and that he felt it better to talk to “troubled student’s” mothers rather than their fathers. I guess getting your ass kicked in the school parking lot a couple of times, by the fathers of the students that you have been bullying, will make you think twice about talking down to real men!

One day, that bastard child, Mr. Eldridge, had the nerve to tell me, in front of the class, that I dress for school, as if I were going to the beach. I didn’t have any money for a bunch of clothes, so if the two pairs of jeans that I had were dirty, then I wore shorts. Yes, even sometimes during the winter.

Well I failed Mr. Eldridge’s seventh grade English class, but I wonder what that stupid, liberal prick thinks of my English now? I hope that he did his future students a favor and “offed himself” shortly after I left Albright Middle School. His profession was not even that of a teacher. He was some “has been” who could not hack it in the real world, so he fell into a $25k per year job “teaching” English.